

It's time for your first task: singing karaoke for an hour. Didn't expect that, did you? Well, you better have your pipes in tune, because if you don't sing, and remain singing for exactly 60 minutes, the game will KNOW. The Famicom's second controller had a built-in microphone. To pass onto the game's second level, you must sing to the notes the game plays in the bar, into the mike, over and over for an hour. If you're triumphant in this task, the little sprite you control will receive 300 Yen (which should buy a stick of gum) and everyone in the bar will attack him. Again, this is if you WIN.

This is the next screen you get. Your next task is to....do nothing for the next four hours. With one catch: to make sure you're really doing nothing, your finger must remain on the A button.

You won't be able to escape Level 3 as easily. In an auto-sidescrolling stage, you must dodge midair obstacles and last long enough to reach the other side of the ocean. Sound somewhat easier? Think again: your plane cannot move up. Only down! You only have so many dodges you can make before you crash into the ocean!


Once you get to the end of the level and touch a shrine, your screen changes and becomes entirely black except for what looks like Beat's head. All online evidence points to this being the final boss. Which doesn't make much sense; how are you supposed to beat a black screen with a head on it?
The answer: by hitting him with any button TWENTY THOUSAND TIMES.
Yes, the man's got 20,000 hit points and you have to deplete them one at a time, in nonstop succession. If you manage to accomplish this, then congraturation, you've won Japan's most frustrating game. Your prize is: another text box from Beat, then a frozen screen.
The game ends once the player discovers the treasure hidden in an island cave. A black ending screen appears, along with the words kan (完?, The End), erai (えらいっ?, good job), and a picture of Kitano’s face. The game has no ending credits, and if the player leaves the ending screen on for 5 minutes, the words change to konna gēmu ni maji ni nacchatte dōsuruno (こんなげーむにまじになっちゃってどうするの?, Why are you taking this game so seriously?). Throwing 30,720 punches on the opening game screen will also take the player directly to the game’s ending.
Super isch es
